If Emma is grumpy and won't come to play,
If Christopher cries when he can't get his way,
Beware! and watch out for a flash of grey-brown;
The dreaded Whinoceros has come to town.

Bringing with him an awful disease,
It's straight from the halls of the Whinocerese,
He's petty with an enormous appetite
For his favorite food: a loud whiny fight.

He'll sneak in your school, and then out of the blue
A terrible plague of WHINE FLU will hit you!
The symptoms are many, and there is no cure,
For whining and fighting and being immature.

So cross all your fingers and shout "Igglemigglemye!"
(To scare off the Whino if he's passing by.)
Just hope that the plague isn't too too severe,
And soon the Whinoceros will pass from here.

I went into the jungle to find the chimpancheeze
I went to the north by testing the breeze
In the clearing he stood all yellow and holey
It reminded me of my soccer team's goalie
Nacho, American, shredded, white, Cheddar, Swiss, Mozzarella, you name it
Nobody knew if it was alive so I nibbled a little bit
It tasted delicious but it started to move
Then it started dancing to a funky groove

The end

Scared of things that normal chimps do
Like swinging through trees on vines kissed with dew.
Hates being social and won’t tickle or wrestle
Hides in the palms where the day shadows cover.
The night is his foe, in the darkness he shudders
A full moon swells in the sky chasing away all
Of the shadow monster.

Though day after day
No courage grows stronger
Still old jungle tales
Tell of the Wimpanzee!